Lost in Wanderlust

New Years Eve

2011-12-31T14:41:00.000-08:00

I wanna get dressed up in a Marchesa ball gown and drink expensive sweet bubbly champagne on the way to a party and have the party in a gilded ball room and dance with a beautiful boy with a British accent, I want him to tell me pretty things all night and at midnight I want him to kiss me, I want to listen to classy music and just be somewhere beautiful filled with beautiful people.

I don't want to lie to my parents about where I'm going because its in a sketchy area of town and drink cheap vodka and cheaper beer and sit in a room that reeks of weed and cigarettes. I don't want to want to be around the girl I dislike the most in my highschool. I don't want to listen to rap and I don't want to watch everyone else have a good time while I'm trying my best not to appear miserable.

This is why this New Year's Eve, I'm staying in all by myself.

2011-12-30T15:57:00.000-08:00

It's like I'm finally awake, and you're just a beautiful mistake.

Struggling

2011-12-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

A month or two ago I made up my mind and decided that I was done with being sad and lonely and depressed and I was going to put in some effort to be happy. I was doing pretty good until recently when some stuff went down :( Now I'm really struggling to keep this sadness from turning into depression. But, at least I'm trying this time, that's a big step. I don't know if pushing these feelings aside will help or hurt but all I know is that's what I need to do right now. Honestly, I scared to slip under again, it's the last thing I want. Hey, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor! And judging by airline prices I'm going to need to learn how to sail to get from Overhere to Overthere ;) xx

Lonely Alice

2011-12-29T17:01:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like even though you have close friends that you love, that you don't really have somebody who is 100% completely there for you? The question you have to ask yourself is if it was 2 a.m. and you were crying and the whole world was crashing down around you, who would you call? More importantly, who would answer that call? I realized not only did I not have anyone to call, but I'm not sure anyone would call me. Pretty depressing, Loneliness stings. oh well, I've got my sights set on Overthere anyways. xx

Lost

2011-12-29T15:56:00.000-08:00

So I'm considering this sort of a journal thing... the only reason I'm making this blog is because I'm on Adderall and have nothing else to do.. so why not make a blog!? Well, I did. I'm Alice and I'm stuck Overhere when I would much rather be Overthere. I'm a junior in high school, and this is just something for me to do, hopefully it'll be fun. xx